Cooler than me on Facebook

Recently I have been pretty active on Facebook and I find it fascinating how some people try to present themselves there. So what else could I do but rewrite a song about it? 😉 I should add that this is not based on anyone specific, it’s more like the total sum of a few types of weird behaviour I’ve seen on there and also in other places on the internet, combined to make a song that fits with the music. Here it is and I hope you like it! 🙂

to the tune of Cooler than me by Mike Posner

If I could send you a poke
and make you answer me
I would already have and
you’d be my buddy
I used to send a request
but you think I’m obsessed.
So you didn’t reply,
you think you’re cooler than me.

You post these walnut phrases
and leave out spaces
whenever you write
because you’re cooler than me.
You never click “Like” on
the pics of my bike, oh.
It’s probably ’cause
you think you’re cooler than me.

You got your hot apps
post on your wall.
And you show them around
like they ain’t shit.
But you don’t know
the way that you look
when your apps
post
that
much
spam.

Shh!

I got you
all figured out:
You need everyone’s likes like
you’re fifteen.
But behind that
nobody knows
despite this flame war
you’re at least thirty-four.

If I could send you a poke
and make you answer me
I would already have and
you’d be my buddy
I used to send a request
but you think I’m obsessed.
So you didn’t reply,
you think you’re cooler than me.

You post these walnut phrases
and leave out spaces
whenever you write
because you’re cooler than me.
You never click “Like” on
the pics of my bike, oh.
It’s probably ’cause
you think you’re cooler than me.

You’re playing farmville,
sending out nails.
And you don’t even look
when I link you.
But you don’t know
the way that you look
when you don’t
re-
ply
to
jokes.

Shh!

I got you
all figured out:
You need everyone’s likes like
you’re fifteen.
But behind that
nobody knows
despite this flame war
you’re at least thirty-four.

And you write like
you think you’re elite
but we all see
that you’re just a cheat

If I could send you a poke
and make you answer me
I would already have and
you’d be my buddy
I used to send a request
but you think I’m obsessed.
So you didn’t reply,
you think you’re cooler than me.

You post these walnut phrases
and leave out spaces
whenever you write
because you’re cooler than me.
You never click “Like” on
the pics of my bike, oh.
It’s probably ’cause
you think you’re cooler than me.

NOTE: Judging by the lyrics for the original song that I found online, there seem to be a few different versions of this song. This is of course not uncommon, but my text only fits with the version I linked. If that link doesn’t work for you and you find a different link / file where the sound and the lyrics don’t quite go together, you probably have a different version and there’s little I can do about that. Sorry.