Rushed again

OK, it’s been nearly 2 months now since my last post. But hey, I’ve been busy with other stuff. ^^ Anyway, I’ve finally come round to rewriting another song, so here it is. This time it’s by a well-known German band, but the song’s in English (both the original and my version), so it’s OK.

to the tune of Pushed Again by Die Toten Hosen

Whispering voices in my head
sounds like they’re calling my name
the mouse cursor is moving ahead
I start Windows and have to play a game

I feel the rush again…
I feel the rush again…

Why should I play what everyone plays?
Why should I do what everyone does?
I could sit here and play for days
Cause I just think these games are fun

I feel the rush again… (rush again)
I feel the rush again… (rush again)

With Chess Titans I can play on my own
Solitaire is a faithful friend
Playing Hearts when I am at home
Can’t you see
I don’t need your help?

You never understood the rules of Mahjong
And you don’t enjoy finding mines
FreeCell just takes far too long
You get confused
with InkBalls lines

I see you blush again… (blush again)
I see you blush again… (blush again)

Why can’t you just leave me alone?
Your tips are driving me up the wall
You’ve got to go
Cause you drive me nuts
I don’t know,
why you stay at all

And I’m sick (I’m sick)
of this strain (this strain)
in my ears (in my ears, in my ears, in my ears)
and I’m scared (I’m scared)
of being rushed (being rushed)
Again…

I do prefer to play alone
It’s like a drug,
addictive simple games
The rules of spider
solitaire are known
And there’s no blood
involved when I exclaim.

Oh no, that field I clicked was wrong!
Solitaire is a faithful friend
I wouldn’t play Purple
Place for to long
Apart from that I’m quite content

And I play (I play)
all these games (all these games)
all the time (all the time, all the time, all the time)
And I’m scared (I’m scared)
of being rushed (being rushed)
Again…

And I play (I play)
all these games (all these games)
all the time (all the time, all the time, all the time)
And I’m scared (I’m scared)
of being rushed (being rushed)
Again…

Don’t trust them

Getting online can be stressful. Especially if you have to cope with the various ISPs and their offers, which often include stuff you don’t even want. Well, for everybody who has to deal with that sort of stuff, here’s my new parody:

To the tune of Don’t trust me by 3Oh!3

It’s time to choose a new ISP,
it’s the end of my old contract and so I want to see
what they offer (offer)
cause I like a good speed.
I’ve got money for a reasonable connection, yippee!
I-I-I go to a few different stores
because I am the type of customer that goes and explores.
I’m welcomed behind the open glas doors,
but all they want to offer me is ominous I guarantee.

[CHORUS]
They want to have me (woo-hoo)
They want to get me (woo-hoo)
They’ll wanna keep me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.

They want to have me (woo-hoo)
They want to get me (woo-hoo)
They’ll wanna keep me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.
[/CHORUS]

Modems, aren’t what I’m looking for.
If you want a router, you’ll have to pay more.
And the support (support)
can be quite a disgrace.
So you’d better be the careful one, you know – just in case.
I-I-I-I don’t want phone and TV,
just a basic little flatrate with a reasonable speed.
Oh now, come on! (Come on!)
I just want Internet.
But by what they seem to offer I’ll need a TV set.

[CHORUS]
They want to have me (woo-hoo)
They want to get me (woo-hoo)
They’ll wanna keep me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.

They want to have me (woo-hoo)
They want to get me (woo-hoo)
They’ll wanna keep me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.
[/CHORUS]

I want to have Wi-Fi
and maybe a connection for my new mobile.
I said, I want to have Wi-Fi
and an ISP on which I can rely.
Listen, I don’t want all you supply
So give me just the basics or I’ll say goodbye.

[CHORUS]
They want to have me (woo-hoo)
They want to get me (woo-hoo)
They’ll wanna keep me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.

They aren’t right for me (woo-hoo)
They can’t supply me (woo-hoo)
They’ll never get me (woo-hoo, woo-hoo, ooh, ooh)
Don’t trust them, no,
Never trust them, no,
Won’t trust them, no, want my money.
[/CHORUS]

Disclaimer: I’m sure, there are reasonable ISPs out there. In my experience however, most ISPs are a lot of stress and this is what I want to represent with this song. If you’re an ISP and think you do a better job, this song is either not about you or you have a false impression of your service.

I need a Peeling

It’s going really well at the moment – I have a lot of time to come up with new songs and I use it. ^^ Anyway, here’s one of my rare non-technical songs. Actually, the theme was originally my sisters idea when I said, I was thinking about rewriting I gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas. Of course, this isn’t exactly my area of excellence, so if there are errors in the song, feel free to correct me. Apart from that, just enjoy it!

To the tune of I gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas

[woman]
I need a peeling
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright

A peeling
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright

A peeling (Ooo-hoo)
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright

A peeling (Ooo-hoo)
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright
A peel…

Tonight’s the night
My skin feels bad
I tried some lotions
They made me mad

If I don’t do it
Like, oh my God!
My skin is flaky
Let’s get it.. off
[/woman]

[man]
I know that you’ll feel appalling
if you don’t get it done
and don’t lose it all

You look stressed out
You won’t let it go
So get that address out
and regain control
[/man]

[woman]
Get in the car
please don’t stop
My plastic surgeon
Will do the… job

An acid peel
It’s no big deal
Will help my skin
[/woman]
[man]
And then you’ll feel good again
[/man]

[woman]
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it
And do it, and do it, let’s live it up

Let’s do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it

’cause I need a peeling (Ooo-hoo)
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright

A peeling (Ooo-hoo)
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ alright
Cause tonight my skin ain’t feel’ all alright
A peel…
[/woman]

[woman]
So here we are (Hey!)
Let’s go right up (Year, go right up!)
I’ve got the money (Pay him!)
Just hope it’s good (I’m sure it’s good!)

[doctor]
I am the doctor (Hi!)
And who are you? (Who are we?)
A peeling patient? (That’s right!)
Here’s what I’ll do

A retinoic (What?)
acid peel (Oh.)
I will apply it (Do it! Do it!)
Then let it… heal

Stay home a while (Home a while!)
For your new style (Brand new style!)
For a few days
[/doctor]
[man]
And then you’ll look good again
[/man]

[woman]
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it
And do it, and do it, let’s live it up

Let’s do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,
Let’s do it, let’s do it, let’s do it, do it, do it, do it
[/woman]

[doctor]
Here we come, here we go
This is the stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)

Give you anaesthesia
or it might be tough (tough, tough, tough, tough)

Smear it on-to your face
That is enough (nough, nough, nough, nough)

Your skin will be red a while
But it won’t puff (puff, puff, puff, puff)
[/doctor]

[woman]
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (Better!)
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday (Better!)

Now-now-now-now-now it’s good
It ain’t red no more (more)
Better than before
It now looks better than before

And I’m feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight my skin will feel alright
That tonight my skin will feel alright
That tonight my skin will feel all alright

A feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight my skin will feel alright
That tonight my skin will feel alright
That tonight my skin will feel all alright

Ooo-hoo!
[/woman]

One System

There, as I was in the mood of rewriting songs, here’s the next one. How would you feel, if your computer just went up in smoke? Luckily, this has never happened to me so far, but here’s how I imagine I’d feel.

To the tune of 21 Guns by Coldplay

Do you know, I was at my PC
when it smelt funny suddenly
Then smoke came out of the case
and I see what I will soon be facing

The screen froze, the mouse moved no more
when I was about to break my high-score
I had little left to hope for
It was ruined

One system is gone
Lay down your tools, give up the fight
One system is gone
The stuff that’s inside has suddenly died, it has died

So I got my screwdriver set
wouldn’t give up all my hope yet
I could save it, I would have bet
but that’s one bet that I would soon regret

So I went on and opened the case
you should have seen the look on my face
when I saw that it was a discrace
It was ruined

One system is gone
Lay down your tools, give up the fight
One system is gone
The stuff that’s inside has suddenly died, it has died

So I tried taking out some parts
checking if I could make it start
Cause replacing it wouldn’t be cheap
but a beep was all that I could get, broke my heart

So it’s time to admit that it’s gone
And that fact makes me feel so alone
One last look, it’s less than a barebone
It is ruined

One system is gone
Lay down your tools, give up the fight
One system is gone
The stuff that’s inside has suddenly died

One system is gone
Lay down your tools, give up the fight
One system is gone
The stuff that’s inside has suddenly died, it has died

My mouse

It’s been quite a while since my last post. The reasons are numerous and I won’t bother you with them, but I’ll try to post more frequently from now on. To make up for it, here’s a new song I’ve just finished rewriting. After getting some first hand experience on where the development of computer game control is going, I thought that would make a good theme. So here you are!

To the tune of Funhouse by Pink

I used to play games with my mouse
or keyboard
but that’s out
you can’t get the high-score
today you have to move around much more

Joysticks are part of the past
My gamepad won’t have long to last
They used to cost a lot of cash
Once a tickle
Now just trash

I used to play with my mouse
but nowadays that just earns frowns
I have to jump up and down
I gotta move around, round, round!
I gotta move around!

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!

I used to have to point and click
and solve riddles bit by bit
But Monkey Island is no more
today they play “Wii Sports Resort”

Computers seeing
what I do
and list’ning to me talking too
When Project Natal comes to be
the characters move just like me

I used to play with my mouse
but nowadays that just earns frowns
I have to jump up and down
I gotta move around, round, round!

I used to play with my mouse
but nowadays that just earns frowns
I have to jump up and down
I gotta move around, round, round!
I gotta move around!

9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1, fun!

Oh!
I’m wond’ring how I’m gonna cope
It’s like HAL’s coming, got no hope
I’ll smash the cam
I’ll snap the RAM
I’ll tear the mic, damn
Break this sucker down

do do do do dodo do
do do do do dodo do
do do do do dodo do
do do do do dadadada
do do do do dodo do (9, 8, 7, 6 5 4, 3, 2, 1)
do do do do dodo do
do do do do dodo do
do do do do dodo do

I used to play with my mouse
but nowadays that just earns frowns
I have to jump up and down
I gotta move around, round, round!
I gotta move around!

I should add a few things: I have a few references which not everybody will understand, so here you go.

Monkey Island was a series of point-and-click adventures and, at least the first few, are considered by many to be some of the best of the genre. Recently a friend pointed me towards the free point-and-click adventure 5 days a stranger and it’s follow-ups 7 days a sceptic, Trilbys Notes and 6 days a sacrifice, which I find entertaining and they certainly work well on Windows. (For Vista, I had to use compatibility mode, disabling pretty much all of the graphical stuff.) I guess, but haven’t tested, that they will run fine under Linux / Unix with Wine. So, if you want to check out the genre, that’s where you can start.

Wii Sports Resort is a game for the Nintendo Wii console, which I haven’t played myself so far but seems to contain a lot of jumping around, swinging your arms and similar things, depending on the sport you’re playing.

Project Natal is a truly amazing Project by Microsoft for their console XBOX 360. Just watch this video and you’ll understand.

HAL refers to the HAL 9000, a fictional computer in Arthur C. Clarke’s Space Odyssey saga. It’s pretty powerful and intelligent and decides to try to kill the crew of the spaceship it was installed in to help the mission. Hence it has become a warning symbol for computers becoming too intelligent.

Well, that’s that. I hope you enjoy it and I’ll soon be back with some more lyrics for you!

Let’s improve Firefox!

I think Firefox is a great browser. It’s fast, it’s functional, it’s available for all of the standard platforms, there are loads of plug ins available and it’s open source. But like any other product, it’s not perfect.

Mozilla Labs is aware of this and so they ask us, the users, for help. They call this “the Mozilla Labs Design Challenge”, which is described as a “series of events to encourage innovation, and experimentation in user interface design for the Web.”

The current theme is Reinventing Tabs in the Browser – How can we create, navigate and manage multiple web sites within the same browser instance?

Basically, they are looking for new ideas to improve tabbed browsing. If you search on youtube, you find loads of suggestions people have already made and some of them are really good!

So, if you want to participate, what do you have to do? It’s really quite simple:

1. “[C]reate a mockup of your proposed solution. A mockup can be anything from a napkin drawing, to a wireframe, to a polished graphic.”
2. “[C]reate a video explaining your idea(s), presenting the mockup and showing how your idea works.”
3. “Upload your mockup and your video to a website such as Flickr, Vimeo or YouTube and tag it with “mozconcept”"
4. “Send [...] an email to [mozilla] with links to both your mockup and your video.”

So, have an idea, create a mockup and a video and off you go! It’s a great opportunity to improve a great piece of software, even if you can’t program yourself! I have a few ideas of my own, I might participate myself… ^^

For more information on this challenge, check their website.

Greetings,
Nepomuk

Let’s sing!

…or rather: let my computer do it. He’ll sing. (Yes, it is a he – all my computers are and have been male. The one I’m at right now is called “Igor”.)

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to have a computer sing for a long time. Just never had the time and so on. Well, yesterday I did it. It took many hours, but I made my computer sing Our train station, my parody of “Fascination” by Alphabeat. Here, have a listen:

The programs I used to create it are:

• espeak for the voice
• Audacity for the cutting

Both are open source and available for at least Windows and Linux. (You can certainly get Audacity for the Mac too, not to sure about espeak. But then, wine might do the trick.)

Now, it was fun but also a lot of work. If anyone want’s to do something similar with annother song of mine, please do – just please contact me when you publish it, so that I can link to it. Likewise if you want to sing and record one of the songs. (That would be REALLY cool! ^^)

OK, other than that, I have a pretty extensive parody in the works right now, so expect that in the next few days.

Greetings,
Nepomuk

It’s my Birthday

Today (17th of May) is my 22nd birthday. Hurray! Now, in primary school we had a tradition, that the birthday child would bring cake for everyone in class. I can’t really share cake out here, but I can offer you a suitable parody of “Closer” by Ne-Yo. Enjoy!

Birthday

to the tune of Closer by Ne-Yo

[whisper]
Birthday, birthday
Birthday, birthday
[/whisper]

Come and party at my place,
have a drink and start to dance.
See the smile upon my face,
I feel like I’m in a trance.

Turn the music up in here,
cause tonight we’re gonna cheer,
not the time for pain and tears.
No, tonight is the night to

Unpack
the gift wrap.
My Birthday.
My Birthday!

And I just can’t get this smile away,
under a spell I can’t break.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap.

And because this is a special day,
there’s also still birthday cake.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop.

You can see my stupid grin,
When I’m opening presents.
From the moment I begin
’till when I see the content.

I want to thank you.
My Birthday,
This is my Birthday!
Hey!

And I just can’t get this smile away,
under a spell I can’t break.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap.

And because this is a special day,
there’s also still birthday cake.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop.

My Birthday,
Birthday, Birthday,
Birthday, Birthday,
Birthday, Birthday

This is so great, oh
Said it is so great, oh
Said it is so great, oh
Said it is so great, oh

And I just can’t get this smile away,
under a spell I can’t break.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap.

And because this is a special day,
there’s also still birthday cake.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop.

And I just can’t get this smile away,
under a spell I can’t break.
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop, I just unwrap,
I just can’t stop.

My Birthday…

Mind you, I speak British English, so that “dance” for example would be pronounced the British way. Of course, it works just as well with American English and probably with most or all other variations too. But that’s how it’s intended.

Robot dance

When I saw this music video by Lady Gaga, it reminded me of something artificial. Something robotic maybe. And that’s when it hit me: This song should be about the Robot dance.

Also it reminded me of another video, which I actually mention in the song: The Robots (THE MIX Version) by Kraftwerk. An relatively old song indeed, but quite appropriate in this context, I think.

Anyway, here’s my new Song. Enjoy! ^^

To the tune of Poker face by Lady Gaga

Beep beep beep beep!
Beep beep beep beep!
Beep beep beep beep!
Beep beep beep beep!
Beep beep beep beep!

I wanna show ‘em what I can do with my arms
Turn ‘em bend ‘em show you my cool robo movement charm (I love it)
Making beeping noises when I move my hands apart
And then I’ll make you think that I have a metallic heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
Move on the spot, show you what I’ve got
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
Snatchy or not, I’ll move round alot.

Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)
Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)

R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)
R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)

I wanna dance like Kraftwerk in their robot song
A bit staccato movement will never be wrong (I love it)
Dimestops all the time make the robot dancing fun,
And if it’s not abrupt then baby you will be outdone, done

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh
A thousand watts, my arms in a knot
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh,
Then I will squat, show you what I’ve got

Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)
Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)

R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)
R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)
(Beep beep beep beep!)

(Beep beep beep beep!)
I will bend down all around town
you should not frown
Cause I’m dancing and advancing
People glancing are financing help my move enhancing
I will pretend that I am defect
move my body like it were wrecked
Well I promise this, promise this
Check this move cause I’m marvellous

Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)
Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)

Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)
Can’t beat my,
Can’t beat my,
No you can’t beat my robot dance
(She can dance it like nobody)

R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)
R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)

R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)
R-r-r-robot dance, r-r-robot dance
(Beep beep beep beep!)

Jim Kirk

After seeing the report on the Onion News Network and then watching the new Star Trek movie a few days ago, I felt I should write a song about it. Note that it is strictly about the newest movie, which plays in a changed time line, so don’t be disappointed/angry/etc. if there are differences between my song and what you know about the Star Trek Universe.

And be warned: There are a few spoilers in the song!

So here goes:

To the tune of James Bond by Scouting for Girls

James T. Kirk, the Academys newest student, his father is dead.
Spending time with girls in bed.

I watched you as a kid,
a hero in the sky,
since I was I boy I’ve wanted to
be that Shatner guy.

But now the world has changed, and Spock is being blamed,
cause Nero lost his planet, or so he has proclaimed.

So I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
Kissing with green girls and then hiding away.
And I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
But Uhura still refuses to tell me her first name.

Hello cadet Kirk, we’ve been expecting you.
You cheated at the Kobayashi Maru, is that true?
Spock was quite supprised, he sais you hacked the test.
But you say that there’s always a way out for the best.

So I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
You wouldn’t just be left in the shipping bay.
And I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
Onbord the Enterprise, thanks to Doc. McCoy.

You got an injection, got an injection, got an injection, what a thrill.
You got an injection, got an injection, got an injection, now you’re ill.
You got an injection, that made your hands go and decided to swell.
You got an injection, got an injection, but all will be well.

They wanted to leave you, they wanted to leave you, they wanted finish the trial.
They wanted to leave you, they wanted to leave you, they wanted finish the trial.

And I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
Warning Captain Pike that it’s a trap, there’ll be a fray.
And I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
Maybe one day I’ll hear Spock say Uhuras first name.
And I wish I was Jim Kirk, just for the day.
Doing all my best to blow the bad guys away.

Sulu and McCoy and Chekov and Scotty, Uhura and Spock and maybe one day me.